DO YOU EVEN DINK, BRO?

OFFICIAL HOME OF THE SCOUTING REPORT

Do you even dink, bro?

I can tell exactly how good you are just by looking at you. (I cannot.) I have one gold medal, ten paddles, zero pickleball shoes that fit, and a partner who carries me. Pick a door.

1ST*
Two pickleball champions with gold medals at a sanctioned tournament

*Fifth place. First-place medals. Long story. It's below.

PICK A DOOR

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The Hero

Meet the fifth-place champion behind it all. Full kit, real medal, complete tale of the tape. Do not ask about the bracket.

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The Scouting Report

I read every player on the court at a glance and assign a threat level. My accuracy is zero percent. Study it anyway.

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The Translator

Been getting a lot of compliments on the court lately? Let me decode what they are actually saying to you.

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The Bro Diagnostic

Not sure what kind of dink-bro you are? Five questions. One diagnosis. It has been peer-reviewed by me.

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About

Wait — is this whole thing a bit? Read this and find out. (It is. With a heart of gold underneath.)